Wednesday, October 8, 2014

[League Update] Week 5: Sabotage?

For the second week in a row, I'm going to start the blog post with TWEET(s) OF THE WEEK, not because they were especially funny or entertaining, but because they had a serious impact on the past week.



Here's the context: Something had Marshawn Lynch on his bench on Sunday. Big Poppa called him out for it, but Lynch didn't play until Monday, so Something had plenty of time to tweak his lineup. Something played PerpetualMotionSquad this past weekend and -- because Lynch was in the starting lineup -- Something won by less than a point.

There has always been an open invitation for league owners to send me stuff to post on the blog. PMS' owner, Steven, took me up on that this week. Here's the email he sent me Wednesday night:

If I could just say a few words ... (I’d probably be a better public speaker). 
Happy Week 5 everyone! Although “happy” may only apply to those teams with a W this week. First, I’d like to thank our commissioner for jinxing me prior to Week 4 (while I was undefeated) – my offensive hiccup gave the Muscular Mathletes their first Win of the season (congrats). Some might question why I started Nick Foles over Tom Brady – to that I respond ... Have you seen the Patriots play this year? (to which you should undoubtedly reply: “Have you seen the Eagles?”) 
Anyway, I digress… back to Week 5. Special shout out to the Twitter folks that pointed out a weakness in Something’s offense on Sunday night, which prompted his RB change from Roy Helu to Marshawn Lynch, costing me the Win (by less than 0.5 points!!!)  In my opinion, this is no different than a last place team laying down at the end of the season and allowing opponents to pick up easy Wins/Points – or a last place team trading away top players to give others an advantage.  Something, I’m putting an asterisk by this Win ... Buy me a beer to take it off. 
I believe this was just ill-timed trash talk, and was not done out of malice - but considering this year we have money on the line, let’s save our trash talk for Tuesday – or at the very least, after the Monday games begin. 
Good luck everyone in Week 6 – I plan on taking “Can’t Be That Hard” to school this week.

 So there it is. Something, Big Poppa, feel free to respond in the comments or any other way you want.

On to the rest of the week's news.

Thank goodness the Panthers won. The Tar Heels are just ... ugh, the Panthers had lost two straight ugly games and Jeff Fisher's Mullet has managed to do just enough to keep losing. For the second week in a row, the Mullets scored 90 points and still lost to Turn Down for Watt by 13 points. What made it worse was knowing that Kirk Cousins was the reason the Mullets lost. Kirk. Cousins.
Thanks, super positive high school football player. I wish my postgame interviews were like that.

Monday night was even worse for Go big or go home. Remember those three Russell Wilson to Percy Harvin touchdown passes that were negated by penalties? Yeah, Go big had both in the starting lineup. Go big lost 103-83 to Off Constantly, which, once again, was not beaten.
Week 5's top scorer was Academic Probation, which scored a whopping 138 points to beat Blaupunkt, which had 99. It was the first time Academic Probation scored more than 100 points and it was also the team's first win of the season. For that, Academic Probation wins this week's "The Climb" award.



Color me inspired.

This week's Sad Trombone goes to The Reservoir Dogs, which scored 62 points in a loss to Cant Be That Hard and apparently needs to work on the whole "setting a good lineup" thing.



Who are these people that torture pets with the sad trombone sound effect?!?

Other scores from the week that was:

  • Big Poppa beat Big Kahuna Burger 91-80 in this year's Williams Bowl. I have to say, there was a surprising lack of trash talk about this one. This is usually a fun matchup to watch.
  • Dolphins of Old beat the Muscular Mathletes 98-66. The Mathletes continue their campaign for next year's top pick in the draft. I might have to be on the lookout for tanking. 
A look at the Royale with Cheese league table shows a three-way tie at the top between TD4W, Cant Be That Hard and Big Poppa. Will we have a new Twitter avatar soon? 

At the bottom, we have the Mathletes, Go big or go home and Academic Probation with one win each. 

This week's Thursday night game is between the Jets and the Patriots. Set your lineups accordingly. 

Teams with a bye this week: Chiefs and Saints.

Wishing you better health than the Panthers' backfield, 

Corey
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