Welcome everyone to Season 7 of the Royale With Cheese fantasy football league. We're back, people. And it's about to get real.
Why? Because we've added two more teams to this already absurdly hard league just for giggles. Sixteen teams! Get ready for games to be won by third string running backs and junk touchdowns!
It's gonna be great.
Before we get to the new players, let's talk about last season.
Watt A Girl Wants dominated us all last year, winning the regular season and the championship, becoming the sixth different league champion in six seasons.
Meanwhile, the Inscoe household ... well, let's just say that I apparently blocked out last season and didn't remember we finished last until I set the draft order for this season.
Will we have a seventh different champion? I hope so, because that means I have a chance.
The draft
The draft is set for Sept. 3 at 7:30 p.m. If you're in the Charlotte area (which is only like five of us now) you're welcome to come over to our house to draft. Otherwise, jump online and draft there.
The set up is the same as previous seasons: The order was determined by the reverse order of last season's finish with the three new teams placed in the middle, and it's a snake format, meaning the order reverses each round. Thirty seconds per pick. If you don't join the online draft, the computer will draft for you, but you can pre-rank your players to try to influence the computer.
Here's the order:
(1) Jeff Fisher's Mullet
(2) Muscular Mathletes
(3) PerpetualMotionSquad
(4) Blaupunkt
(5) Dolphins of Old
(6) Off Constantly
(7) SugaLumps
(8) KB's Belly Shirts
(9) Bueller
(10) Something witty
(11) Academic Probation
(12) Theon's Deflated Balls
(13) There's no "I" in team
(14) Cant Be That Hard
(15) Get Off My Dak
(16) WattCanISayExceptYou'reWelcome
Not sure who I'm going to select with the top pick. Right now it's between Roberto Aguayo and Colin Kaepernick.
The new guys
If you're mad about the league going to 16 teams, blame these people. (Actually, it's my fault, but it's easier on me if you blame them.)
First, we have Bryan aka KB's Belly Shirts hailing from Wilmington.
Up next, Devin aka Bueller from Durham.
And finally, an old face and name you might recognize: Andy aka Something witty from Honolulu.
Since we have a history with Andy, let's take a look back at how he's done in the league previously:
- In 2012 he finished 7th with a 7-7 record.
- In 2013 he finished 14th with a 5-9 record.
- In 2014 he finished ... jeez ... 14th with a 3-11 record.
No wonder he quit after that season. With that stellar history of success, I know you are all shaking in your boots at the prospect of Andy returning to the league.
In memoriam
Unfortunately, Katie aka Big Kahuna Burger will be taking this season off. Let's have a moment of silence.
We hope she will join us again next season — probably to replace Andy after he quits again. (Just kidding Andy. Don't leave. We love you.)
The schedule
I randomized it, so only God (and the computer) knows who you're playing — or, more importantly, not playing — this season. Because there will be two teams you don't get to play this season. Direct your excitement/anger to the 1s and 0s.
Dues!
As per usual, direct your league dues to me via Venmo (preferably) or PayPal (if you'd rather) or by throwing me cash when you see me (least preferred because I'll probably lose it).
Administrative duties
I'm still planning to write the blog post each week, but if you don't believe me (Morgan) or just want to contribute, I am open to guest columnists. Shoot me a message if you want to write the League Update one week and I'm happy to let you do it.
Also, my main mode of communication will be the secret Facebook group mostly because I hate email. We also have the Twitter account, which will occasionally blast out info.
That's it for now. You have 8 hours until draft time. Use it wisely — i.e. start drinking and get ready to make poor decisions.
So if you posted at 8:18 AM then 8 hours later would have been 4:18. Have you already started drinking? The Draft would have been closer to 12 hours from the time you posted.......Just sayin.............
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