[League Update] Week 9: 'The Victory'

"The Victory" 

A one-act play

[Corey and Courtney sit on the couch. Corey looks defeated, his fantasy team down 10 points to his wife and both have a wide receiver left. Corey's receiver, Andre Johnson, had only scored more than 10 points twice all season.

With a sigh, he picks up his phone and sends out a tweet.]

I'm going to need a big game from Andre Johnson ... Must beat @cepat
— Royale with Cheese (@RoyaleWCheeseFB) November 4, 2013

[Cut to 20 minutes later. The game between the Houston Texans and Indianapolis Colts has begun. Corey is in a back room when he hears the TV announcer say something about Andre Johnson. He comes into the living room just in time to see a replay of the receiver's first touchdown catch.]

COREY: Wooooooo!! [Does a little jig in the hallway.]

[Cut to a few minutes later. Corey is sitting on the couch again with Courtney. He looks a little less defeated. There is hope in his eyes now that he has a two point lead, but it's still too close for comfort.

Andre Johnson catches another touchdown pass.]

COREY: Holy crap! Did you see that?!? [Corey throws up a triumphant fist pump. He's taken a solid lead over Courtney. Maybe hope is not lost.]

[A few minutes later, Andre Johnson catches his third touchdown pass of the first half. Corey starts dancing on the couch and giggling maniacally. He knows he has won. He can't keep it in.]

COREY: hehehehehehe woooo!

[Courtney barely lifts her eyes from her computer screen to send an icy glare to Corey.]

COURTNEY: Stop it.

[The end.]

That's pretty much how it went. Courtney was a gracious loser. I did not sleep on the couch. I'll admit, the Muscular Mathletes should have beaten Jeff Fisher's Mullet. That win was blind luck. But I'd rather be lucky than good any day. Especially in fantasy football.

Andre Johnson had 40.9 points. That's just absurd. All but 39 of his yards came in the first half.

Courtney had a receiver in the Monday night game, Alshon Jeffrey. He had a solid game with 12 points, but it wasn't enough. The Mullets won 122-103. Courtney should just be glad that we didn't have a bet like this on the matchup. (You're going to want to click that link.)

I'm going to take this time to address the controversy (?) involving the trade between the Mullets and Correctamundo. First, let me say that Correctamundo proposed the trade. He thought it was fair, and I agreed. Second, I did change the pending period to make sure the trade processed by Sunday to help both of us. I wasn't trying to sneak it past anyone, which is why I sent the email. I gave everyone the option to vote it down if they felt like it was a shady move. Obviously that didn't happen. I wasn't trying to pull anything over on you. If you were trying to do a last minute trade and needed a similar change, I would have done it. And finally, the trade ended up being pointless. Phillip Rivers, who I traded for and started, actually got five points less than Jason Campbell, who I picked up and left on my bench. Serves me right, I guess.

Anyway, the Mullets' win and losses by Correctamundo, Getting over the hump and Chicks Dig Scars put the Mullets alone in second place with the Mathletes still in first place by a game. Like I've said the past few weeks, the standings are really close. Everyone -- except for PerpetualMotionSquad -- still has a chance to make the playoffs with five weeks left in the regular season.

Speaking of PMS, it's time for TWEET(s) OF THE WEEK!

I usually wait until later in the blog post, but these gems deserve higher play. Big Kahuna Burger was on a roll with the PMS jokes this week, and she backed them up with an 83-68 win.

PMS is now 1-8 in the league. If I start to suspect that you're tanking for a draft pick ... well really I'll just feel bad for you if that's what it's come to.

It looks like last week's blog post was effective. The trash talk was better and all but one team (PMS, but he was out of the country) had a full lineup this week. Nicely done! Now don't make me get cranky again.

Even with Andre Johnson's huge game, the Mullets were not the highest point scorer of the week. That honor goes to iwishiwouldhaveplayedtuba, who scored 124 points in a 19 point win over Something.

The You Got Lucky Award this week goes to Big Kahuna Burger, who had the lowest winning point total, 83. Anyone who plays PMS gets lucky, amiright?? (Don't think too hard about that one ...)

And a huge Sad Trombone goes to Chicks Dig Scars, who scored a league-low 56 points in a loss to Cant Be That Hard. Remember when Chicks had the Twitter avatar? Now they've lost three straight games. Womp womp, indeed.

I worry that this blog is getting too Mullets-centric, but that's because I don't have enough time on Tuesday nights to go through every single game and find all the interesting facts. So I trust you to send me interesting/funny/ridiculous stuff that happens over the weekend. I will include it. Tweet, email, text, whatever. Just hit me up.

This week's Thursday night game is between the Redskins and Vikings. Decide what you want to do with players on those teams by Thursday night. Figure out the rest of your lineup by kickoff on Sunday.

Teams with byes in Week 10: Browns, Chiefs, Patriots and Jets. (Peyton's back!)

Wishing you sure hands and strong ACLs (even you, Mathletes!),

Corey