Wednesday, September 24, 2014

[Week 3] Football wasn't very nice last weekend

Football and I are not friends right now. It started with UNC's pathetic showing against East Carolina Saturday afternoon. It ended with the Panthers' pathetic showing against Pittsburgh Sunday night. And somewhere in the middle, Peyton Manning also ruined my weekend.

Peyton, the Omaha of my Nebraska last year, pretty much single-handedly ruined my perfect fantasy football record Sunday (the Panthers didn't help, but I don't want to talk about it).

The Mullets had the Seahawks defense. Blaupunkt had Peyton. For 58 minutes, the Seahawks were killing it. After they picked off Peyton with about 4 minutes to play, the Mullets had a 17 point lead. Then Peyton just did his Peyton thing.




That has to be TWEET OF THE WEEK, right? Matt quoted Pitbull! 

Eighty-yard drive for a touchdown, and a two-point conversion pass just to rub it in. It was a 1-point game heading into the Panthers game and I lost 83-79. Like I said: Football and I are not friends.

But enough about me. There are more important things this week, like the first Twitter avatar change of the season!

Let's take a trip back, shall we?

Two years ago, PerpetualMotionSquad started 0-5 in its first season in the league, mostly because the owner had no idea how to play fantasy football. Last year, PMS started 0-4.

But oh how things have changed! PMS is the last undefeated and untied (friggin' ties) team in the 2014 season, which means this beautiful mug is our new avatar photo:



PMS beat Academic Probation 104-79 this past week, and was the only team to break 100. There's no way this continues right? Like, it can't continue to be smart to start Nick Foles over Tom Brady, right? I mean, this is the team that drafted Adrian Peterson. This is just some fluke and PMS is going to lose like 6 straight games in the middle of the season, right? Right?!?


EDIT: When asked for comment, PMS sent me this:


The Muscular Mathletes earn their second Super Sad Trombone of the young season after putting up 43 points in a loss to The Reservoir Dogs, which scored just 57. The Mathletes are 0-3. This is the same team that only lost three games in the regular season last year on the way to winning the regular season championship. Tables=turned.



The owner of the Mathletes told me that she's now playing for a high draft pick. Convenient.

Hey, Off Constantly. We need to talk. You see, if you're going to have a ready-made joke of a name, you have to actually, you know, get beaten. Right now, you're the only other undefeated* team in the league after beating Aloha Something 98-55. I'm proud of you and all, but come on man. Lose one for the blog.

Something, Dolphins of Old, the Mathletes and Academic Probation are the only winless teams in the league. If the futility keeps up, it might be time to bust out some numbers in the next blog post.

This week's So You Had A Bad Day award goes to Dolphins of Old, which had a huge lead over Turn Down for Watt coming into Sunday night, but watched it slip away as Antonio Brown (21 points, ugh), Matt Forte (7.6) and Martellus Bennett (17.4) did work in the last two games of the week. TD4W won 91-88.



Other scores from Week 3:

  • Go big or go home got its first win 94-60 over previously unbeaten Big Poppa, but the most interesting part of that matchup is that the Buccaneers defense scored 11 points despite giving up 50 points to Atlanta. How, you ask? T.J. Yates, of course. 
  • Can't Be That Hard easily beat Big Kahuna Burger 90-57. 
This week's Thursday night game is between the Giants and Washington. Get the players for those teams where you want them before kick Thursday. 

This is the first week of the season with teams on bye weeks, so check your lineups. Bye week teams are: Cardinals, Bengals, Browns, Broncos, Seahawks and Rams.

Wishing you luck with the lineup shuffle, 

Corey
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