[League Update] Week 5: The fantasy football gods are cruel and unreasonable

Let's think back to last week, shall we? When I had that awful 30-some-odd-point week and everyone was laughing at me.

You may remember that I had two starters who didn't score any points. So, like any good team owner, I put both of those underperforming (they had been for several weeks) players on my bench.

Then, this week:

- Andre Johnson scored 19 points after scoring 0 the previous two weeks and a grand total of 5.1 the first four weeks combined. On my bench.
- Ryan Mathews scored 15.6 points after scoring zero the previous week and only breaking 10 points one other time all season. On my bench.

And everyone laughed.

@RoyaleWCheeseFB @CoreyInscoe definitely wins the best bench of the week award. 3 bench players have out scored the rest of your team #oops

— Jeremy Williams (@mr_JJ_williams) October 11, 2015

@mr_JJ_williams @RoyaleWCheeseFB @CoreyInscoe can #blaupunkt trade benches with you?

— Matthew Parunak (@Mattpar14) October 11, 2015

@RoyaleWCheeseFB I should feel bad for @CoreyInscoe and all the points he's left on his bench, but....I need a win more than I need friends.

— Evelyn Ann Greene (@eagreene) October 11, 2015

@mr_JJ_williams @RoyaleWCheeseFB @Mattpar14 @eagreene y'all realize that both non quarterbacks scored 0 in my starting lineup last week ...

— Corey Inscoe (@CoreyInscoe) October 11, 2015

@CoreyInscoe @RoyaleWCheeseFB @Mattpar14 @eagreene Yeah that makes it even funnier! Oh the ups and downs of #FantasyFootball

— Jeremy Williams (@mr_JJ_williams) October 11, 2015

The fantasy football gods are cruel and unreasonable.

In other league news ... after last week we no longer have an undefeated or winless team.

The Reservoir Dogs lost their ofer status with a 96-93 win over PerpetualMotionSquad. And it wasn't taken away from them by a stat correction this time.

@RoyaleWCheeseFB Is it safe to celebrate now? I've waited until Tuesday. It's almost noon. Surely they can't take this one from me.

— Manofsteele_13 (@Manofsteele_13) October 13, 2015

@RoyaleWCheeseFB I was down by 18 and knew I was screwed. Then...BOOM...ANTONIO GATES! Fresh off suspension pulling in 20+ to give me the W!

— Manofsteele_13 (@Manofsteele_13) October 13, 2015

At the other end of the standings, Taking it one game at a time beat undefeated Academic Probation 94-84.

one pass play and Taking It One Game at a Time hands Academic Probation it's lone Fantasy loss of the year... #timetocheat @RoyaleWCheeseFB

— darinmorton (@darinmorton) October 13, 2015

We now have a three-way tie for the league lead with those two teams and Free Crab Legs, which dominated the Williams Bowl with a 119-69 win over Big Kahuna Burger.

- Free Crab Legs' 119 score was the highest of the week.

@RoyaleWCheeseFB I am starting the interception machine Famous Jameis today. Hope I don't regret it #freecrablegs

— Jeremy Williams (@mr_JJ_williams) October 11, 2015

- The Sad Trombone goes to Off Constantly, which was beaten 61-57 by Dolphins of Old. Gotta love having the two worst scorers of the week going against each other.



- The DOH Award clearly goes to me, because I have no idea what I'm doing with fantasy football. WMWWMJJ beat Jeff Fisher's Mullet 97-75.

Other scores;

- Blaupunkt 90, SugaLumps 77. SugaLumps is taking its lumps (see what I did there) this season. That's the team's third-straight loss and now it's tied for last place with The Reservoir Dogs.

@RoyaleWCheeseFB above .500! #championshipbound

— Matthew Parunak (@Mattpar14) October 13, 2015

- Cant Be That Hard 90, Muscular Mathletes 87. This was a close one, decided by the foot of Giants kicker Josh Brown on Sunday night.

There's a chance we could have a new avatar next week ... We'll have to wait and see.

Wishing you sure hands and strong ACLs.