OK, take it away, Jeremy!
Well that debate was about as exciting as a high school class president debate. I am glad that is over and I can move on to more exciting topics…FANTASY FOOTBALL! With week 6 in the books we finally have a team in the #1 spot, Big Kahuna Burger, but more on that later. Watt a Girl Wants, Blaupunkt, Muscular Mathletes, and (yours truly) Get Off My Dak are all tied at 4-2.
The rest of the league is tied at 3-3 or 2-4 … except for one.
Guys, we need to have an intervention or something. Our poor, sad Commissioner is 0-6…0-6! He hasn’t even come close to a win yet this season. I think at this point we all feel a little sad for him.
This game used to bring joy to all of our faces, but for one sad Commissioner it is safe to say, “The thrill is gone.” I for one want to make fantasy football great again for Corey, which is why I proposed a trade to hopefully help him out.
Enough feeling bad for Corey, he should have drafted a better team. Now onto the good stuff!
GAME RECAPS
Big Kahuna Burger vs. Jeff Fisher’s Mullet
Well here in the Williams’ house the thrill is real! (Don’t worry I will keep this PG). Big Kahuna Burger crushed fantasy football again this week by crushing Jeff Fisher’s Mullet by almost 62 points. It is crushing defeats like this that lead the Mullet’s to quotes like, “Stupid game.”
Get Off My Dak vs. Academic Probation
The other team in the Williams’ house was able to squeak out a 73.78-70.26 victory over Academic Probation. Your reigning champ is looking to make another playoff run. Will Fuller laid a big goose egg to basically solidify a win for GOMD.
Watt a Girl Wants vs. SugaLumps
The NFL.com recap said, “Watt a Girl Wants goes crazy on SugaLumps for 4th straight win.” Yeah that pretty much sums it up …
Blaupunkt vs. Off Constantly
It is safe to say Blaupunkt did not beat Off Constantly. Off Constantly strolled to a 127.36-70 victory over Blaupunkt. To make matters worse Blaupunkt’s bench scored 84 points! Someone should make better life decisions when setting their lineup.
There’s No “I” in Team vs. Muscular Mathletes
There is no “I” in team but there is an “I” in SHIT!!!! First let’s all marvel at Courtney doing this amazingness:
Courtney (Muscular Mathletes) also took care of fantasy football business with a 93-83 win this week. Who would have thought Andrew Luck would have a good game, but since he sat on the bench No “I” went down in a blaze of glory this week.
Dolphins of Old vs. Theon’s Deflated Balls
Let’s just describe this game as a curb stomp … yeah that sounds good. It wasn’t even close as the Dolphins of Old cruised to a 119-61 win on the backs of Drew Brees and Rob Gronkowski. If the Dolphins of Old didn’t beat up the Deflated Balls enough, their own bench beat them by 15.
Can’t Be That Hard vs. Perpetual Motion Squad
I said it once and I will say it again … it CAN be that hard. PMS rode a 32 point performance by Odell Beckham Jr. to a close 80-75 win over Can’t Be That Hard.
The Awards
This week’s Sad Trombone Award goes to SugaLumps, which scored a sad 41.26 points against Watt a Girl Wants. Honorable mention goes to Jeff Fisher’s Mullet which only scored 42.66 … you got lucky this week. Here’s to you SugaLumps!
The Johnny Football Award for Poor Decisions goes to two teams: Blaupunkt and There’s No “I” in Team.
If No “I” in Team would have started Andrew Luck over Carson Palmer this week he would have won by 1 point! Although Blaupunkt lost by 57.36 points, had he put Terrell Pryor, Chris Michael, and Bradin Cooks in the starting line up he would have won. Poor decisions my friends…
Last but not least the Grumble Grumble Award has to go to Jeff Fisher’s Mullet because 0-6 …that’s why.
It has been six weeks Corey, win a damn game!
Well folks I am winding down this update but I will get you out of here with some highlights from Facebook:
- “Corey Inscoe I will trade you Kelvin Benjamin for a ham sandwich...think about it.” –Get Off My Dak
- “Just need a point to keep from getting Sad Tromboned ...” –Jeff Fisher’s Mullet
- “I'd like to thank Corey Inscoe and his steaming hot pile of shit team (did I get all the adjectives right?) for securing my 1st place standing 👏🏻” –Big Kahuna Burger
Thanks for letting me write the post this week Corey. Maybe we should start a rule that whoever is in last place each week has to write the post? HAHA it’s funny because that would be you!
Signing off …
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