Written while STILL recovering from Election Night hangover. Guys, elections are tough.
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So, Jeff Fisher’s Mullets won again this weekend. For those of you keeping score at home that’s TWO IN A ROW. And it DOUBLED his win total on the year. Since nobody wants to listen to him gloat, I volunteered to write this week’s post.
It was an interesting week. Everybody and their grandmother was on a BYE. Some of us scrambled to find options on the waiver wire. Others of us decided that their wife’s birthday was more important and basically gifted Corey Win Numero Dos.
Also, Chris Boswell attempted at Rabona kick, and it was AMAZING!
What it should look like:
What actually happened. (Stupid NFL won't let me embed the video so you have to click the link.)
Both of our lovely ladies at the peak of the leader board lost this week, so the Williams Household is now tied at 7-2 atop the league standings. Watt A Girl Wants is next at 6-3, followed by 3 teams at 5-4 to make up the current playoff picture. Five teams follow at 4-5, 2 at 3-6, and our wonderful Commissioner is bringing up the rear at 2-7 (and more than 260 points back in Points For).
Now, without further ado, let’s hand out the hardware for this week.
The Awards
The highest point scorer this week was There’s No ‘I’ in Team – Mike Evans lead the way with a 27 point performance, and 4 other players broke the 10 point mark during a 110.74-82.46 victory over Blaupunkt
This week's Sad Trombone goes to Big Kahuna Burger, who was beaten 85.12-59.38 by PMS. Katie had 6 players score 5 points or less this week, but she is still in first place, even if she no longer leads in Points For.
This week's Johnny Football Award for Poor Decisions goes to SugaLumps. If he had started Doug Baldwin, Matt Bryant, and the Dolphins D, he’d be looking at 109.2-106.78 win. Instead, he’s staring down the barrel of a 15 point loss to Theon’s Deflated Balls.
The Grumble Grumble Award goes to, well, half the damn league. With half of the known world on a BYE this week, many people had to start whatever they could grab off of the junk heap or players in bad match ups. Off Constantly had almost half the roster off this week, while 4 other teams had either 4 or 5 players off.
This week's Most Ridiculous Headline Written by an NFL.com Computer:
For the sake of Corey’s dignity, I’m going to present this one without comment. Mullets win, 91.34-70.02.
Other scores from the week
Academic Probation 79.56, Muscular Mathletes 70.30: Despite a strong 30 point outing from Latavius Murray, the Mathletes couldn’t seem to get anything else going. Oh how the tables have turned in the Inscoe household
Get Off My Dak 96.48, Dolphins of Old 82.32: Another stellar game from its namesake has Get Off My Dak in 2nd place. I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of feel bad for Tony Romo right now. Annnnnnnnd, it’s gone.
Can’t Be That Hard 96.86, Watt A Girl Wants 81.08: Almost 28 points from Matt Ryan got me my 3rd win in a row, and all I can think about is how much I’d like to punch him in the face. Having to stick with his hot hand while he decreases the odds that the Panthers make the playoffs every week is just an awful feeling.
Quote of the Week
Further proof that Corey can’t do anything right, he went from failing at Fantasy Football to failing at tanking. At least he’s self-aware enough to recognize the problem. I think Sam Hinkie is still looking for a job. Maybe he can help out.
This week’s Thursday night game is between Baltimore and Cleveland. The poor Browns are still winless and, per ESPN, have a 15% chance of losing out. Be sure to set your lineups before kickoff at 8:25 EST.
Haiku. Do you?
Once again, Eve provides us with another wonderful piece of poetry:No cheese stands alone.
Whelp. The election's over.
Now for more football.
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