Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Before you sit down to stuff yourself with dressing and get into awkward political conversations, don't forget to set your lineups! We've got three games today and this is the next to the last week of the regular season.
The league this year is made up of haves and have-nots. The haves: The Williams Household, with Big Kahuna Burger and Get Off My Dak still tied for first at 9-2. The next closest team is Watt A Girl Wants two games behind, and there are three teams tied for fourth at 6-5. Right now, that's your championship playoff.
Now for the have-nots. More than half the league has a losing record. There are two teams at 5-6, and then a six-way tie for ninth at 4-7 (including yours truly). Two of those teams won't make the consolation bracket. Remember: The tie breaker is points for, which is unfortunate because mine is AWFUL.
Now onto the
Awards
The highest scorer of Week 11 was Academic Probation with 115 points, beating Dolphins of Old (61). Dolphins has now lost three in a row and is down in that 4-7 group. Welcome to the basement!
This week's Sad Trombone Award technically goes to PerpetualMotionSquad for a no-show 33 point performance in a loss to Muscular Mathletes (67). But he does have a pretty good excuse for a possibly historically low point total: He ran his first marathon last weekend! Congrats, man. That's awesome. So I won't make any more fun of your team.
Instead, I'm going to give an honorary Sad Trombone to Blaupunkt, which has now lost six games in a row and is down in the basement with the 4-7 crew. See -- Blaupunkt is at least as bad as the Mullets are, but because his epic losing streak is happening at the end of the season noone is noticing. It's unfair. Oh well, now we're in the same boat.
The Johnny Football Award for Poor Decisions goes to Watt A Girl Wants. Last week I grumbled about how she had 50 points on her bench an 100 points on her team. Well, this week she still had about 50 points on her bench ... and 55 on the team. Ouch. There were multiple bad decisions, but we'll focus on leaving Rashad Jennings (18.9) and Adam Theilen (12.5) on the bench and starting Kyle Rudolph (1.2) and Randall Cobb (8.4). And it didn't help that AJ Green got hurt in the first quarter. But because of these poor decisions, Get Off My Dak got a 73-55 win, and has now won six in a row.
This week's Grumble Grumble Award goes to the chief grumbler, Cant Be That Hard. It all came down to Monday night. Cant Be That Hard had a slim lead, but Houston's Hopkins and Miller did just enough for Off Constantly to get the 88-84 win. Grumble text from Morgan: "I'd rant about how much I hate MNF, but let's be honest, I only hate it when it's costing me games. Having said that, Lamar Miller can suck eggs."
The Most Ridiculous Headline Written by an NFL.com Computer:
Most of the headlines were boring this week but this one came out of nowhere with some really good descriptive language. Way to go, computer.
Other scores from Week 11
- Jeff Fisher's Mullet 90, Theon's Deflated Balls 74: Four wins in a row ... still in last place.
- There's no 'I' in team 108, SugaLumps 89: 20 points for a defense? Dadgum. 4 sacks, 2 interceptions, 1 TD and a return TD.
- Big Kahuna Burger 108, Blaupunkt 68.5: From Blaupunkt: "Go ahead and give me the sad trombone award. 5 losses in a row after a hot start.
"*I also felt sad playing my ACTUAL trombone yesterday because I sounded bad. #backtothepracticeroom"
It's actually six in a row, but the point stands.
The Book of Faces
Some good advice from Theon's Deflated Balls: "Word of advice: Set your lineups before the tryptophan hits."
Haiku, You ku, We all Ku
Thankful, by EveTurkey's on the grill
All the family are here
Now time for football.
Everyone have a safe and fun and happy Thanksgiving!
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